Tshhhhhhh =)

2012-02-11T12:47:00.003+08:00

HELLOOOOOO THIS IS SOK HUI !

Havent came by since forever.

Just a quick update.

A levels are over! I dont know what to expect.

I always think too highly of myself and then when the results get back the numbers just sit there laughing at me, "HAHA you are not that smart afterall"

Results prolly coming out 2 weeks later?

.....

wo bu zhi dao ...

Have been working at BCA Building and Construction Authority.

Its interesting to see the reaction of Singaporeans to the term "Government"

HAHAHA but really, why are people all so afraid of the Govt?

Food for thought.

After having experienced an office/accounting/govt job I realized I am not really cut out for it. It simply bores me to death sometimes with all the repetition that I cannot stand.

Contract ending in 4 weeks! GO!

Next job I'm looking for?

Currently having in mind: dog handler/kitchen assistant (Hands-on stuff)

2 years of college has certainly changed me. A lot.

Till next time!

2011-02-22T22:53:00.002+08:00

So... life has been quite good recently~
But still someone has to dampen my mood all the time.
Compromise. compromise. compromise ~
tui yi bu hai kuo tian kong.
sidetrack.
Today co damn scaryyyy ~
billy lor. ask lisa go out train junior, leave me alone in CO room ~
shu said that i was trembling when i played. Hahahakukumalu.
Still damn LUCKY tcher never scold me or get irritated (phew)
i always feel damn scared when the pro isnt around .
must be confident ma.. haiyo!

:/

sch is gna get busier and busier as SYF approaches :(
Actl syf sort of ruins the music mood for me lor.
music is supposed to have some calming effect on me
but CO can be so s-t-r-e-s-s inggggg :O

when i saw in sec sch, i felt so inferior/ashamed to be from
a club/society cca and was like always embarrased to admit it
(i mean......librarian -_-)
its like a cca for slackers/people who cant do sports and PA.
now i'm in CO and i complain stresss
tsktsk unlimited wants yo :l

nights!
i miss the good old days
back then people were less... scheming/cunning/cowardly.

i used to think when we get older, we'll be more courageous.
turns out to be wrong (for many people)

when we were young and unhappy at someone
we would most prolly tell that person straight to the face
now?
cowards posting things on fb/blog/twitter.

what has become of this world????

2011-01-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

special post for my lil monster :)
replying your comment will just let it be washed away my spam ://
I AM NOT DOING WELL.
Been trapped in this dislike-myself-terribly phase for some time alrdy.
I want to go out with you and TYR!
Play like the old times - gosh. i really miss those days
recess! running ard the entire sch like mad people.
with all those girls.
me you yr cp venus ruth vanessa
i dont even remember why we always fought and stuff back then.
haha. kids *sigh*
But at least i still have you. and YR :D
Love you girls and hope to go out to playyyy :(
Sentosa again or sth!
Lets go shopping/play when we're all free. just the 3 of us okayyyy :D
somewhere nice. away from this noisy, judging world.

2011-01-12T22:20:00.002+08:00

blog archives remind
of horrible has-happened(s)
loser-ish attitudes of the past.
i feel flaming red uhm-bear-rous-deh of meself.
Reading the same portion of Proof three,
no four times in a row in lit class ystd has
most certainly proved detrimental to my vocabulary bank.
The repetition of "asshole" and "Fucking" just popped up
in my head randomly today.
uh-oh. hahahah. oh well.
Detrimental.
reminds me of that undone AQ!
Shu asked me how to do but i fail to be of any help.
i even researched about it and nth came up.
AHhhhhhhhrhfjodaad
Ejayyalallald.

PE tmrw. ohyeasfinally.

you came and you left
but in between you robbed
me of all my anticipations.
why..

2010-12-29T01:25:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyouall.
For once, i am actl dreading sch reopen.
And now i finally know the true goodness of sch hol!

:S

2010-12-08T22:47:00.003+08:00

I had actually typed a super long blog post but i deleted it away still :/
Sigh. Cos i know if i blogged it no one would understand anyway,
well, no one except someone who is no longer a part of my life
and no longer reads my blog! :(
those times before you got too close were good.

2010-12-05T13:00:00.002+08:00

People rarely blog these days and i am privately getting sick of it too.
CCCA is crazy. my life is all co co co now :(
Finally the weekends come, and i was thinking oh yehhh!!!
but in the end i slept the whole of ystd away.
srsly dunno what happens to me during weekends now!
Its like i wake up in the morning (Noon i meant)
Have lunch
TRY to stay awake but fail
and sleep all the way to the next noon. Like how i woke at 11 today.
and i am struggling to stay awake as i type this oh no >:

i look AND feel i million years olddddd :(
sleeeeeepy like i havent slept in the past million years.
GAH..........zzzzzzzzz

2010-11-26T23:36:00.003+08:00

A secret confession:
I have a secret second blog :B
HAHHAHA no i am not going to tell you all.
dont bother finding man! Lol.
Cos it has none of my real particulars whatsoever,
not even my name TSH :l

Its for me to read only heh.
Okaylah maybe i will give some pepo the url!
Only have 3 people i totally trust now tho.
shhhhush! :P
dont break this trust i have in you

2010-11-25T01:43:00.002+08:00

My Silence:
Lets look at it from several perspectives, from people who know and dont know me well...
1) Shy - The general idea
2) Tired/Sleepy - A lot of ppl keeping saying that i always look tired. Eyes is it -_- heheh.
3) Dumb/Boring/Stiff person - DUN SAY THIS PLS ):
4) Listener
5) Stoning (Like my husband :O)
6) ??? Nothing to say

Actually i dunno the ans myself L:
2 + 3 + 4 + 6 Mostly....
I AM NOT THAT SHY! Lol. initial contact maybe but... lol not shy k!
And i am not a quiet person what :B
ask shu and claudia and nad and .......... (list goes on)
tired. i get tired easily, esp nowadays.
Yes, 3: I am a (wo)man of a few words.. there are many things i feel that can be left unsaid! If its a close friend, words need not be exchanged cos we would know each other well! :B
4: I enjoy listening... A LOT!
By watching and listening to each individual, from their tone of voice, their eye movements and hand gestures etc, you can quite simply tell their nature, their being, unless they are superb actors of cos :l Today in the MRT i observed some ahemahem cnt share la hor :> (Cos its not exactly a positive personality)

There are sometimes i get totally left out of conversations :O
As much as i dont talk, there are always the kind of people who will at least TRY to engage you in conversation, whereas some people, completely block you out, as if you are non-existant, they dont even bother to look at you, or if they do talk to you, they dont make any eye contact whatsoever (DAMN MEAN! )

Okay la.
This post wasnt created to shoot anyone,
so dont get offended if you know who i am talking about!
Just having super a lot of thoughts this night :S

Humans are like ice/water/water vapour.
I will leave this for you all to infer :)

2010-11-24T01:23:00.001+08:00

I am not a pretty girl and you know it.
Haheho.

2010-11-21T00:49:00.003+08:00

*piakpiak*
Hello! (As laogong would say: Wakeywakey! :B)
I am feeling so frustrated over things that i should not be worrying about now!
Get yout priorities right, TEO SOK HUI!
Now is not the time to worry about issues such as those! :(
You need to snap out of it man!!! Okay!!
Worry about them next time! Tsk!
My 青春期 is here. Lol.
Pimples breaking out :(
Haiyoooo.
I AM SEVENTEEN ALRDYYYY :/
Lol. first thing my dad asked me on my bday was:
"When you want go get (driving) license?"
Haheho. My response was "Huh. But i dont dare"
Hence brought forth this talk about being "crippled" if i dont know how to drive.
MEH. Lol. So i retorted that my husband can drive me ard. Hahaha.
Heard that anot! :B

When i first started to feel that i like 19/10 more then 4A,
i was horrified. I thought is i 喜新厌旧!
But heng, shu said the same thing to me, so its not only me :B :B
I still (heart) 4A, but 19/10 feels different. Haiyo... dunno how to say man!
Hope that all those sitting for retest will PASS !
You all must JIAYOU OKAY! :)
I want you ALL to be my classmatessssss next year!

<3

*Stop worrying about ....*

2010-11-07T21:31:00.003+08:00

It was a very down point of my life, the recent post promo results..
i was crying.
yet thru my tears i got out my phone and smsed him?
Its weird you know.
he is just a schmate, at most a friend.
yet out of the whole friggin list i choose to single him out and sms him??
but still.
in the end.
he dissapointed me.
lol.
i dunno what is wrong with meh ):
apt word: joke.

2010-11-06T16:24:00.002+08:00

Haiyo i feel so anti social
and i am being more and more anti social
if you plot a graph it will be exponential ):
like back in last year my blog's average viewership per week is like minimum 100-200!
Good times even hit 300++, or near 400.
Then now, what huh.
36! I got 36 views this week!
):
haaaaaiiiiiiyo cnt blame anyone.
i too anti social ...

2010-11-05T12:23:00.002+08:00

Someone is pissing me off
she is acting as if i stole her boyf

2010-11-04T17:43:00.002+08:00

OP isnt over yet but what we're like planning all sorts of stuff alrdy!
Wed shall be lunch with claudia's grp and i dunno what we're gonna do next!
Thurs is shopshop day with my ANGS!
And we're (maybe) going USS leh. Lol.
And one of the first things i wanna eat after OP is...

ROTI PRATAAAAA & CURRY!!
Lol. random food craving.
And nad + lw want to go for sushi buffet.
HAHA. and i wanna drink iceblends with my laogong
so sweet i like ((:

Oh hey hey.
in a sort of down mood today but thanks peeps for cheering me upUPUP

lao gong dont worry
no matter what your decision is
whatever the outcome is
you will still be mineeeee hehe!
I will standby msn/phone for you if u want!
jiayou! do what you think is right (:

2010-11-01T22:18:00.002+08:00

yi chou wei mei
chou dao ji duan, bing shi mei dao ji duan
kai xin dao ji duan, bian shi bei shang dao ji duan
er shen shen de hen, ye hui cun zai zhe xiang deng de ai.
wo de dian nao you wen ti
bu neng da hua wan zhi ti le
wo you yi xie nan guo
):

累

2010-10-30T13:43:00.001+08:00

I wish i could sleep for a day or two,without any disruptions.

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盐

2010-10-29T18:07:00.001+08:00

Major headache. Cried too much today i guess. Mrs ong is right, i am being too paranoid, too worried, and simply putting pressure on myself. So malu la keep crying today ugh. I feel relieved. Lucky that my conduct grade is excellent, if not things could be largely different. Meh. I feel very sad leh. We may be losing two classmates :'( dont want any one of them to leave AJ :(

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2010-10-23T18:11:00.002+08:00

On funny days like today
I feel so funny

Doesnt that seem like a little kid's composition?
Today is a sunny day. I feel so sunny.

Yes, thats probably what you see me as.
A little girl.

2010-10-22T13:37:00.002+08:00

Supposed to be PWing naooooooo..
but i finished my part,
plus nadnad and weiwei are not back yet
they still eating in the canteen nomnomnom :B
so i can slack a bit heehehehee :P
heyhey!
my mood is pretty good today?
ystd my head and throat like gonna split into multiple slicies alrdyyy
thank you external costssssss :@
sleep deprived!
Small eyes people should sleep more you know why?
cos if not, our eyebags will be bigger than our eyes alrdyyyy :O

雨天会让我想起你
其实不只是雨天吧
而是每一天
是不知不觉
是习惯
练习四年的习惯
放下了，但还是忘不了

2010-10-20T22:52:00.003+08:00

Srsly my mood swings should stop alrdy lahhhhhh ):
Emo these few days
keep seeing things in a negative light
and feeling
so
so
so
insecure
endangered
ugly
talentless
Mehhhhhh ):
cos we recently hopped over to Starhub from Singtel,
the wireless connection changed name le.
to "Desmond" -_-
my papa's name...

so just now the comp was like
"connecting to desmond...
cannot be connected to desmond...
connecting to desmond...."
HUH so weird! Lol. Should name nad's internet connection Desmond instead
*winkwink* :B
Chinese mock today = sleepppppppy
the aircon so strong! Made me fall asleep during paper 2 you know!
Heng i finished the paper tho!
Mock is certainly harder then promo! ):
Then A lvl will be even harder?

....

Missed PW today due to chinese mock!
Nad told me that our WR strategy names got praised infront of the whole class for GI!
Omggggggggggggggggggghehahhehoeho! :D:P:B
Andand it was still an AE in the previous draft..
but now its "not yet EE but ...." :D
Sudden motivation to spam PW lol.
hope it does not die off until after OP! <3

Eeeeeeeeee.
CO makes me stressssed ):
Today got test you know!
one-by-one.
I might as well bang the wall and go die lah!
Cos i usually play by intuition & by listening to other instruments
but you ask me solo i can die one, totally.
Yeah.
Somehow Billy & Hazim transformed into scary people during my turn.
Okay lah its just me getting scared and imagining things but...
tsktsk.

CO is the stress-estttttt thing EVER ):
Tmr got DA ZU!
):
I must jiayou!
Left not much time in AJCO anw
i shall not be a hai qun zhi ma~

Wish

2010-10-10T13:06:00.002+08:00

Wish.
I wish i were smarter
wish i were more talented
wish i were less hopeful
wish i can forget the things i have to
wish i could be fun to be with
wish i were sociable
wish i dont make people feel bored about me
wish i can make people around me smile all the time
wish i looked pretty. wished i look presentable
wish i didnt have pimples, freakles
wish i could be sporty
wish i could be musical
wish i could have more friends?
wish that there wouldnt be days where my phone wouldnt even ring once (sometimes really have!)
wish. i could be a little more like everyone else.
everyone else seems to be better than me.
):
in studies, in sports, in music, in social life,
in the look they look, in the way they are confident......
have been trying to find somewhere,
somewhere i can just stand out
but there isnt ):
there just isnt )):
friends tell me, maybe i just havent found it yet,
but when can i find it then?
when i have been searching all this long?

i look like i dont mind
when i'm being left out of things
i guess i could be good at that
pretending not to mind
i have been learning that since young anyway..

pretending not to mind when relatives gushed over my sister and practically ignored my existance when we were younger.
pretending not to mind when my mum is being obviously brimming over the top bias everyday.
pretending not to mind when people dont pass the ball to me in ball games
pretending not to mind when i am left out of conversations
pretending not to be conscious of my looks, unhappy with it?
i bet no one knew that when i was in primary sch and then sometimes in sec sch, even now maybe, i dont dare to look at the mirror while washing hands in the school toilet?
I will think to myself, better dont look, so ugly.
see only will make myself feel disgusted.
i always feel so insecure, so not confident.
i need reassurance, so sometimes even when those flirts tell me i'm pretty or what
even tho i know they dont mean it
i feel a bit happy
happy that they even bothered to lie to me about that.

i am someone who is extremely negative about myself.
i admit, i love myself alot.
i protect myself a lot.
i prevent myself from getting hurt to the best of my ability,
i have learnt to conceal my feelings, hide them inside.
but, this is because i know,
that its hard to find some other people to love me.
even if no one else, i have to love myself..

i ask myself a lot of questions,
why is it i am like this?
i dont know....
i really dont know ):
sometimes i hide myself at home for days and days and dont get out of the house.
but this is because,
i dont know..
if i agree to go out with my friends,
if its 2 people only, i will surely bore them right!
awkward silences.
if its big group, i will surely be forgotten?

shit this kind of me.

can i not be me sometimes?

this kind of feeling sucks. it sucks.
when i once thought of ending my life in sec 2,
i was thinking that there would be no difference to the world if i left
perhaps no one will feel upset that i am gone.
is that true? i dont know..

sometimes i feel like Antoinette.

sorry for these posts nowadays
dont know what is wrong with me!

2010-10-10T02:44:00.002+08:00

今天我看了《薰衣草》这部偶像剧
我哭了好多，但也学了好多
人
我们最想要珍惜的人是谁？
又有谁，会珍惜我们？
爱，是什么？
是约束，是照顾，是缘分，还是。。。
两个人。。。
两个人，没有对方就活不了的两个人？
爱，到底是什么？
谁才有资格去爱？
爱，该不该藏在心底？
或是勇敢不顾一切地，
不管所有人的反对，的欺负，或是上天的作弄，
甚至是会伤到你最要好的朋友，
不顾一切，用力，用尽全力的勇敢去爱？
约定，它是属于两个人的。
信任，它是感情的关键。。。
幸福的瞬间。。。
你有想珍惜的人吗？
你是否告诉他，他对你有多重要？
爱是什么？
我还是不懂。。
是像偶像剧里一般吗？
是什么，爱，它到底是什么？
爱，友谊，的区隔是什么？
爱与恨，有差很多吗？
我想，如果你有足够的力气去恨一个人，
那就代表，你曾经深深的爱过他吧？

不知道为什么
今天的我，感到特别的孤单
一个人，
好安静，
好自由，
但。。。
也很寂寞。。。

我有许多感触
一直藏起来
不和别人分享
表面上没有眼泪
还有淡淡的笑容
但又有谁知道
最痛苦的哭法
是没有眼泪的？
是很想，很想哭
但还是哭不出来。。。
是一种别人看不到，也不会明白的心痛。
是属于一个人的。

我心里，脑海里
现在是一片胡乱
我已经不知道，我在乎的是谁？
而谁，才是真正在乎我的人呢？
我该相信爱情的存在吗？

那天有朋友问我，
你还喜欢他吗？不会吧？
我回答说，我不知道
真的真的不知道。。。
也许是习惯了吧
习惯天天会想到他
我暂时还是甩不掉这个习惯
也许，感觉淡掉了
但是，会议还在
习惯，还没改掉。

我今年真的变了很多吗？
有人告诉我，
我成长了不少。。
是吧，现在我的感触很多
顾虑也很多。。
但也想念过去的我
傻傻的，天真的，苯苯的，
毫不隐藏情绪的那个粟斐

2010-10-01T14:07:00.002+08:00

I gotta start learning english
but how !
since young
i have always thought that
you cant learn english -_-
okay that explains my inefficiency of ..
(see i dont know what word to use)

everytime i write an essay for unseen poetry
i will get stuck somewhere
trying to make words come out of my head
but dont have lehhh D:
if the lit paper
were verbal
i would be gesticulating
and repeating "er..er..you know......."
):

its that bad
see my GP papers and lit papers and compare with claudia's and its like..
two different worlds );
Hers is all fluent and flaunty vocab is everywhere
MEHHHHHH );
and mrs sudhir / ms leung give her so many ticks.
whereas i get question marks
for self-invented words oh man );

i am so pissed with myself
for my incapability
and showing no remorse over this adverse circumstance
procrastinate
stare into space
idle
relax way too much
noms
tea
situps
crunches
stretching exercise
wii
PW!
madness
Antoinette
Marionette
Bertha
WSS(S)

i miss you like crazy

2010-09-28T23:00:00.001+08:00

love and fear and repercussions and hope

2010-09-26T12:41:00.002+08:00

How can we still believe
when the one we trust the most lies to us

How can we still love
when the ones we love time and time again
turn their backs on us

How can i still hope
when after all these years
nothing has changed

everything just keeps getting worse.

i have tried.
really.
and now i'm tired
tired of trying
to make a difference.

it takes two hands to clap
so i'm withdrawing mine

from nothing

from your unwillingness

2010-09-25T18:17:00.002+08:00

bits and pieces so
faraway
how could i ever grasp them?

:(

Hate getting sick ):
Hai..................................................
Keep falling asleep ystd cos got headache and sorethroat.
Keep jerking awake :O
and zheyu so ungentleman!
He woke me up just to ask me a lit thgy when he could have asked claudia instead.
cos he ask me i wont know anyway! :/

Promos are nearing

为什么这样子
突然之间
我
不再相信你了

2010-09-18T12:30:00.003+08:00

your play captivates me
scary subtleness
manipulative
intoxicating

exasperating
your beautiful
f
a
c
a
d
e

lies and the truth, affection and resentment
oxymorons
splatter of the forbiddens and hugs and kisses and tears.

in your world of manipulation

2010-09-18T00:57:00.003+08:00

i am AMUSED by the way S1910 laughs!
Shu: Volcano
Claudia, xiaocong: solid HUR HUR HUR HUR ...
Weiyin: high frequency hahahahhahahahhahahahah
Me: *claps silently*

and so many more?lol..
we should form a choir..
should be pretty awesome :D

2010-09-10T20:15:00.002+08:00

crying outside home about home may be pathetic
but crying at home about home is worse.
Hai.
i am probably gonna whine abt stuffs to shu again.
i think she's sick of hearing abt it le.
i should quit whining to shu abt those stuff le la.
esp after that time in the mrt
but i also need to release my emotions lah. bleah.
so many years alrdy
should have long gotten use to this
still cry for what
kuku
-.-

2010-09-08T22:09:00.003+08:00

The thing about me is that i am very picky when it comes to choosing study mates!
But i want a full time study mate leh!
one that lives near me
can go cck library/warren to mug with me!
i need ppl to mug with me, srsly D:
cos i cant push myself to study when i'm alone at home.
got no pressure.
no incentive
no motive D:
WTHH dun like myself lah ):

2010-09-07T22:53:00.002+08:00

walking, beach
night, alone
dark, perceived blindness
wary, curious
afraid, moving on
loss, getting lost
antangonising

"where are you?
i miss you so much!"

2010-09-04T15:09:00.002+08:00

had a dream ystd.
in my dream, claudia & xy met each other
it was damn awkward lah :/
and for some reason that i cant rmb
xy was being very sarcastic & nasty !
weird dream....

Back to being a little kiddy :(
tsktsk i should act like my age lah!
but i cant help it sometimes
the things i want to say come out of my mouth differently.

you mean @#$%^&*(
fine lor.
dont reply dont reply lor !
>:(

2010-09-01T20:25:00.002+08:00

On a lighter note,
went back to west spring.
the right place
the right people
the wrong mood
sth was obviously wrong with me that day.
extremely tired. moody. emotional.
i dunno lah!
walking into school felt so FAMILIAR
like i do it everyday.
i like the way i know where everything is
the sch seems sosososososososo furnished compared to AJ -.-
new fans + pink curtains for every class!
A piano in the canteen?
And other loose bits of love (:
Funny english tips around the school.
although they would seem more apt. for pri sch O.O
but still shows how thoughtful the sch committee is!
Went with shu and wh,
met jia lian! :D
then went to sch hall first, then up to 4A classroom to slack.
Others joined as gradually.
i didnt socialize much (as usual)
was feeling damn out of sorts ):
then went staffroom.
OMG. mr kok actually deesiao-ed me!
HAHAHA. shocking.
he commented on how my eyes are still as small as last time.
LOL.
took loads of photos as usual!
Mr P and his camera. Hahaha.
and took those photos with the banner outside sch in which i look like a criminal -.-
and an ugly one at that.
srsly poopy. sigh D:
wanted to take testi you know!
then the receptionist who always has a black face ask me come another day -.-
she say today very busy -.- sian!
and when i say black face i not being racist uh :/
is 脸黑黑，脸臭臭.
Didnt get to see yiting, zie, beatrice D:
D:
D:
so long never see them!!!!!

yingzhi very shy...
LOL!
after that went lot one to eat
pasta mania
我把我的第一次献给佳莲和淑惠！
(I know i type wrongly but i cant find :P）
Shu so lucky ah!
My subway first, second, third also with her leh!
which is all the times i went to subway!
Lol! Lucky lucky shu! :D
I ate dory baked rice
Yumyums !:D
nice lahhhh :D
hanged ard lot one for a bit.
after i went home,
i totally cui
collapsed on sofa and slept till past dinner time.
woke up, headache, sore throat, flu,
felt weak, felt unprotected, felt alone D:

I want to cut hair soon!
How short should i cut my hair???
Thinking of short hair :/
or shoulder length.
...

is anyone reading my blog?
tagboard is so dead ):

2010-09-01T20:03:00.002+08:00

Blooopyyyyyyy!$%^&*(+_)!$%*&$
Dun like sch now ):
So tiring, everything just piling up ):
Makes me go into horrible moods sometimes ):
The urge to ignore people and stone and stare into space
and longing to just ploop on my arms and zzz the whole day ):
Somehow sch becomes so tiring.
Met a lot, i mean it, a lot of nice, fun people in AJ.
but somehow, maybe the travelling distance and time,
makes me dread sch sometimes ):
Too tired to budge.
Always reaching school at 5/10 mins before i'll be late.
I USED TO REACH SCH AS EARLY AS ONE HOUR EARLY LAST TIME YOU KNOW!
I could sleep three hours a day and yet wake up at 5.30
and skip my way to sch, along the jelapang path, singing.
I remember singing so loudly, so freely,
along those dark forests in the early morning,
the smell of dew and that of fresh grass,
those times i fabricated in my mind the possibility of mas selamat suddenly jumping out of the trees and what i should do,
the aunties/uncles who occasionally appearing and caught me in my act of singing =x
the truck of bangalas across the road who stared at me -.-

my mum's blind bianess is getting overboard.
seriously feel like taking action.
cant stand the sight of spoilt, self-absorbed kids
especially not one whom is sec one and proclaiming how
"there are no good qualities of any of the people in school" etc.
and acting like she's a queen.
and the most shitful thing is my parents are like complying with her -.-
omgwtf. seriously dont blame me for bearing a grudge.

hurt inflicted on little kids are irreversible.

like how you see in dramas..
people who have been hurt as children
grow up to be full of hatred, like this go around killing people O.O
i dont feel like killing people.
Just feel like muting one and brainwashing another.
SERIOUSLY.
HOW CAN YOU BRING UP A CHILD LIKE THIS!
SPOILING HER TO SUCH AN EXTENT.
Everyone who has been spoiling her.
you all need to be brainwashed like srsly.
if you all cont.
she will just grow up to be more and more.....

actually i want to give up.
i used to bother.
to try to change things.
to talk/scream sense into my mum for her actions.
now.. i cant be bothered anymore..
do all you want..
i am tired.
srsly.
i dont ever ever want to cry over it again.
dont ever want to get angry.
dont see hope anymore.

Its all in ruins.
I cant change it,
for if i could..
i have been trying since i was 5?

Nothing has changed in this span of time.
I guess nothing ever will.

2010-08-28T00:00:00.002+08:00

i think that you think that i am talking about you in my blog :/
but i am not talking about you unlike what you think, which is that i am talking about you in my blog.
and because i think that you think that i am writing about you in my blog, i think that you are talking about me in your blog too :/
but i am not talking about you unlike what you think, which is that ia am talking about you in my blog.
so stop shooting me if you are!
Lol. why so complicated?? O.O
uhm.
today sch = a lot btter then expected.
Physics SPA = not as my nightmare!
Meet 4 uber nice girls in sch today lah!
So sweet despite the fact that i dont even know them!
espesp that girl in the library!
OH MAN! SHE IS SO NICEEEEEE )):
I DONT EVEN KNOW HER NAME
OR IF SHE IS J1 or J2!!!
OMG lah!!!!!!!!!
NICE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE TODAY? :O

EOM!
How to push at to EE??
*thinking*
iya go slp first, tmrw do =x
or maybe sun?
dunno when got time!
byebye!

2010-08-26T22:47:00.002+08:00

Omg she hasnt changed -.-
still likes to presume that she knows me very well!
she doesnt know how that hurts
anyhow make assumptions
stupid toot leh she! ):

2010-08-22T01:06:00.001+08:00

Today was a thoughtful day..
thought of a lot of stuffs
wide range too O.O
Suddenly felt like Antoinette this afternoon -.-
lazy to explain but lit students know how she is.
GAH.
I DUN LIKE!
):
I miss sec 4 life a lot a lot !

2010-08-18T22:07:00.002+08:00

Thanks for teaching me a lesson..
on how it can be possible to not miss someone but miss their presence :/
Faster come back leh
dont MIA alrd! D:
expectations met naught last week.
reality hits this week.
when will this end :/
i dont miss you!
I mean that, i really dont, right :/
i only miss you being around..
thats all.
hmmhmmmmm.

Shu's 'thank-cute-you" is stuck in my head!
and her singing "oh year ~" also -_-
see lah! LOL!

2010-08-17T20:59:00.002+08:00

Smsing TYR, ECKL & some others today totally made school bearable lah!
LOVE THEM TO BITS AND FIX THEM BACK TOGETHER AGAIN ((:
Cant wait to see those two, one tall one short, both skinny people.
I dont mind feeling fat with you all! Haha!
小魔鬼与大小姐！
I have given you both such apt nicknames right!
Give me an identity too! =)

米修米修！

2010-08-16T18:12:00.002+08:00

Argh ):
Just now at cck someone suddenly touch my ponytail
first thought is CH! cos he always does that, to any part of my hair -_-
but turn around is SW...
Uh.. i stun a bit.
partly cos of headache i got slow reaction.
partly cos i was just.. stunned -_-
sian...
not that i dun like him lah.
he is a very nice person, so caring!
but i dun like the way he keeps pushing things when i clearly told him no so many times before )):
even as i am typing.. he is doing that ):
SIGH. its adding on to my headache! )):
he makes me feel like a bad person.. why must he be this nice :/ ???

school is turning lethal.
everything is turning into scalars..

2010-08-14T21:32:00.001+08:00

Such a convincing liar
Tsheeshhh...
I should trust my instincts instead right
why should I have wavered?
I should have stood my stand!
I believe in whoever i want to believe in..
you cant change that!
Not even i the world stands against that one person.
somehow i cant find it in my capacity to feel that that person is bad..
he is just .. seeking what he wants.
that isnt wrong!

2010-08-08T16:28:00.002+08:00

okay i got it.
getting addicted to people, dramas, and food are all dangerous.
i will try to pull myself out of this mess then :D
hhehehe. listening to nice songs now!
and singing, as usual.
I sing everyday, but never properly in front of anyone.
i think the first person to hear me sing properly will be my husband haha.
or maybe not at all :/

i am being way too nice to myself, all the time.
i never force myself to do anything.
i dont force myself to study.
i dont force myself to do homework.
i dont force myself to exercise.
okay lah not really. i force myself to wake up every sch day morning :/

but still!
why am i so good to myself?
self-obessed freak is it!
Hmpfh. i am so noisy. noisy girl.
actually 24/7 of my life, i'm talking
its just that its all in my mind. my mind never stops, never rests.
it might explode.
srsly. sometimes even when i am sleeping, i can hear my mind talking.
Sometimes its like "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING! YOU NEED TO DO ..... NOW"
and i jolt awake.
or sometimes i dream of my inner wishes.
those i never admit to myself or others but i know exists.....
hmphhmphhmph.
but i know i am not the only one like this.
he is too.
they say people too similiar either share hate or love.
i agree agree agree.
random. fats. tired. anticipation.
fullstops. denial.
abrupt.
exclaimations. excitement. anger. impulse.
question marks. worry. fear. panic. uncertain. insecure.
semi-colons. talkative. noise. i'm running away.
commas. deep thought. belief & disbelief. continuance.

our story has not yet ended,

2010-08-08T00:36:00.003+08:00

You change. so quicky.
one moment you're so nice
the next, cold.
you ignore me
then you come close to me
what is your problem?

papaya. choc.
grape and berry gummies.
chips in the pack.
the ridges on them are so enticing.
hungry, yet not eating.
then full, yet gorging myself on junk.
going to shower today with my clothes ON.
blushing because of nothing..
yet pissed off because of something.
trying not to
yet trying to.
stupid self-contradictary poop i am ):

bah.
i wanna go sleep.........
or do i?

*BAD DAY TODAY* HMPH

2010-08-05T21:40:00.003+08:00

Today's civics NE session was totally epic.. haha
the whole class fell in love with the cute little girl!
She's so pretty ((:
Then we also did "Our dreams" thg for 10 years later.
my grp's one was hilarious.
Haha. the guys linked up a story by themselves -_-
cos Liwei draw sth to say that she wants to stay single.
Then me and claudia's happy family :D
And a car to represent drivers' license...
then the guys were like "Wah why contradict?"
Then someone, i dont rmb who, said
"Oh i know! The car gonna knock the happy family down"
Lol wth. then got a mike to represent singing (my interest)
then some one said "Oh!! Single singer~"
Wah. they are too creative.. haha,,
and the class' reaction when they thought our whole group intended to stay single was so cute :D
actually i think i will stay single lor :/
i very hard to find clickable people.
even my friends.. haha.. i might like a lot of people but marriage is a whole different thing :/
of course if i find the one then ..... :D
if not i will stay S I N G L E ((:
i dont suit to be tied down i think ~
i am not great enough

2010-07-29T23:54:00.002+08:00

Mass civics today was ... :/
the principal shared with us the MYCT results for the cohort and past two years'
only then and there did i realise the cohort did so terribly D:
Damn scary ~
we are so far away from our expected grade :/
but of course, there has to be smart people like the one who got 78 ranking points
-.-
-.-
.........
yes, 78 base 80.
-.-
mad smart!
Plus, ms leung showed that timer thingy ~
freakedusoutlah! canhearthe*beepbeepbeep*as she is talking ~
some things never do slow down ):

randomishly good day today!
NICEROTIPRATAUNCLEHAHAHA! :D
I WILL BE BACK FOR MORE PRATA!
*YUMYUMS*
and today got my fav tuna mayoooo !
Hehe.
tmr is like my second most dreaded day in the week
......
)):

2010-07-27T00:38:00.001+08:00

Love is a cruel thing

2010-07-24T11:50:00.002+08:00

I must learn to control my laughter!
If not people will think that i am some mad girl! Haha.
Earlier in the week i was in AJ canteen queuing for food at quick bites.
keep hearing weiyin & pris laughing! so loudly and madly!
I got infected and started laughing aloud too.
HAHAHA.
and the person in front of me in the queue turned around.
He probably thought i was mad. hehe.
stand there alone and laugh -_-
ystd sth like that happened too in the morning!
Shouldnt talk about it anymore. super malu :/ :/ :/

PW meetings on friday before CO )):
I EXTREMELY DISLIKE PW ):
sigh. nvm.
Must go and thank eugene for giving me a sudden inspiration for PW liao.
cos he did a very funny thing.
I was in library comp typing WR..
then he and his friend whom i dontknow walked past..
so i look at him waiting for him to look back so i can wave..
then his friend see me he never..
then cos the windows are slightly tinted he was like stare blurly at me but not at me for quite some time before he actually registered who i am! HAHA!
then after that he came in library to ask me what i doing, then said byebye and left.
hahaha!
so i managed to derive some PW ideas! GI!
YEAH! after stoning there like for so long!
and then the WR thingy also very malu.
cos i thought that paper is eric's
so i keep holding on to it =x
then zhengguang keep coming to take it
i was like :/
so got one time i secretly so take back when he was talking to the rest of his group.
HAHA.
and after that when he came back to get it.
i was like hugging the paper dont want to give him
in the end realised that the paper is HIS =.=
DAMN MALUUU~
tsktsk.

byebye.
gg out le~
blog later when i am back :*

really shocked he actually said those words to me ystd.
i really wish he didnt..
my answer's a definite NO.
but i dont know how to say it to him ley.
ARGHDAMNCRAP ):

2010-07-21T22:45:00.002+08:00

Thankyou moderation =)
2 marks added to GP pulled me up from U to S :)
Econs no change, still U (sigh!)
BUT IT MADE ME PASS MATH! EEEEEEEE!
Okay. nothing to be proud of, seriously -_-
lots of people like billy, and in the famous lisa's 4 H2 classes
probably got so many ppl getting A w/o moderation!
But oh wells, at least i pass!
After moderation,
based on my results,
i can be promoted! To J2! :D
Okaynvmmoderationsdontreallycountactually.
BUT I WILL WORK HARDER FOR PROMOS!
WE ALL WILL, TOGETHER!
NO ONE TO BE LEFT BEHIND!
WE MUST ALL PROMOTE TOGETHER!!!!!!!!! <3

2010-07-17T16:27:00.002+08:00

I am a major anti-socialist :/
been that since secondary sch days i think.
Things that happen to you during your childhood days mould you.
i hate who i was in primary school, and the earlier secondary school days as well.
Lucky i've changed ((:
But some things come and you just gotta stick with it argh.
Everyone keeps laughing at my poor phone now lol.
The paint's come-off, the camera and some other functions are void,
and it looks so poor-thing.
Haha! Lesson: Dont get phones w/o previous research, esp. not those $0 ones like mine :/
Dunno if i can get a phone of my choice this time round.
Hope so (:

My results : BUUUSE.
If i could add one mark more to each subject, i'ld be getting:
ASSSEE intead (only no-change is physics)
How lovely results )):
CNT GET PROMOTED ):
I only have 1 H1 pass and 1 H2 pass (or is E even a pass-_-)
DAMN PATHETIC ):
Just realised what happened to my physics..
no ECF.
So part (i) wrong = almost whole ques zero marks.
SIAN )):
and the math paper,
i dont even have ONE ques which i scored full marks ):
Horridlah ):
ECONS IS A TOTAL LET DOWN YOU KNOW!!!!!!!
I EXPECTED SO MUCH MORE!!!
*SIGH*
my parents dont seem keen to go PTM.
they say its a waste of time..

messy messy messy life
i dont know what i want anymore
i feel like a big fat pervert

2010-07-14T23:23:00.003+08:00

As if my previous blog post didnt make itself clear enough.

got back lit paper today!
ONE MORE PERCENT TO E !
Meaning, if i had scored o.25/25 marks higher,
i would be having E instead of S!
Ohwell. guess im stuck with the "one mark curse"
)):
cnt find my reseach materials for PW )):

Happy birthday wanqian!

2010-07-13T18:26:00.003+08:00

They say colours brighten up you life,
so here goes ...

Math: U (one mark more to S)
Phy: E (vast vast vast improvement! My past phy assessments all U de =x
*jumped 2 grades* "mini-breakthru" haha am consoling myself.
but oh crap, still horribly shitty results lah)
GP: U (one mark more to S if i didnt rmb wrongly
and yes, i cant believe myself either!
U for GP? siao!!!!)
Chinese: B (one mark more to A!!
Now i know where my majormajormajor mistake is !
I wont do that again for compo!
I just passed compo thats why i didnt get an A for overall!
A for A levels is a MUST. i MUST do it.
我是华人！:D)

"one mark more to .." -.-
WTH. Lols. nvm. grades dont matter anyway!
only act as some consolation i offer to myself. rawrhf.
A level chinese oral today.
keep fumbling over words in reading aloud ! Wahsian D:
actually only got 1 word i dontknow,
but the sentence structure makes it hard to read.
Damn unfluent )):
but conversation got a good topic: casino!!!! HAPPY!
didnt get to say much though!
only say the 现象+后果 for 2 弊
and only the 后果 for 1 利
then the teacher cut me off lerh.
heard that everyone got cut off by the teachers ~
is there a time limit or??
AH WELL. its over.
Teehee! Hope its good ((:
Hmmmm. oh yeah.
Dont know what they did during Lit class today.
missed it due to oral.
Hope they got back papers instead of WSS presentations!
I want to be present for those!
Quite fun. Hahaha.

I got quite pissed by a certain grp of people!
Their attitude very (N) lor.
cos we comparing grades,
so they got a lot of A, B, C.
I say i never even see before.
They will reply "AJ ma.. AJ paper of course lah"
-.-
What!!!!!
Dont assume such things and then say that i getting paranoid over nth please!
So what if AJ paper?
There are plenty of people doing perfectly fine!
As!
BBBBRAH!
*Scream vehemently*
And also got this damn bad lecturer today (phy)
he say, dont talk to people who get E (grade)
you talk to them you get E too!
Why not talk to alson? He's my A student so he's allowed to talk!
Dont talk to people from IJ and JJ, talk to people from RJ!
Wah totally hor! Cant stand him!
Carry on shaking your hand lah!

Getting more and more confused by some things!
Where are YOU leading me to?

2010-07-11T18:48:00.002+08:00

I want to forget by i just cant forget
my memory tape's stuck on replay
my mind's a mess
pull me out, please
dont wanna live like this anymore
that glass wall between whats real and whats not
you cant see it
but when you walk towards it, you'ld still bang your head against it
it'll hurt, but you'ld try to do it again
to get over to the other side
so end up hurting yourself more and more
isnt this the case?

i need a wake up call
whats real and whats not

2010-07-08T23:22:00.000+08:00

My latest addictions..
i guess no one will understand no matter how i blabber about them haha!
I openly talked about one of them to shu & claudia. (the non-secretive one)
Whereas the other one,
i myself am still unclear about it.
Time will tell! Haha :P
byebye tmr is gonna be a long day !
Today was a GREAT one ((:
So hope tmr will be better and better ^^

2010-06-30T13:06:00.002+08:00

This week = MYCT week
i am deprived of the stressed feeling.
LOL. everyday go home at night dont study...
and use comp, watch TV blahblah.
today got animal documentary on okto 10pm.
Wooo! :D
Todat me no exam = no sch
jiayou shuhui, wanqian, whoever's having exams !:D
GP = Hope can pass
Econs = Data-based sure die, essay okayokay.
Chinese = compo = love story; paper 2 = :/

hahaha. i was like blushing when i ended off my compo lor!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwhdefiovsdjif
Hahaha.
tmr maths at 1-4 pm. eeeee *excited yet worried*
friday = phy, chi LC, lit.
OH LIT.
I AM PREPARED TO DIE!

i want a cheap, qwerty slide out keypad phone with the andriod operating system.
wonder if have not (:

spent a loooooooong time last night
deciding if i should or should not send that sms.
in the end i didnt cos it would be damn awkward ************
Lol. hope he remembers it by himself. haha.
if not then i will totallly regretregretregret cos i was on the verge of sending it.
nvmtyvmforreadingiwantgoeatmylunchjiayoushuforyourgeogpaper!

2010-06-24T01:18:00.001+08:00

I miss having my own table in our own classroom, that little private space, sitting with my favourite people in the world, mugging in class during lunch breaks with lunch boxes, the thrill of sneaking into the lift and getting caught by teachers, trying to run off into the lift without our friends noticing, the late at night chem night class scares, all the times we cried and laughed together, mr prakash's physics lessons!!!!!!!, all the approachable, go-the-extra-mile teachers!, mr seet and his long stories, chionging to canteen when the bell rings, the way i could sleep three hours a day and yet not feel tired, my friends, classmates, the familiar places, our favourite hangouts, the way we have the whole school mapped out in our heads, the way going to school actually felt like a happy thing, having jokers in class to help us laugh our way through lessons, they made lessons so enjoyable! The way teachers could be
as close to us as friends, interested in all our gossips and even joining in. EVERYTHING. i miss westspringgggggg ):

This was meant to be my new facebook status,
but i realised there is a stupid word limit -.-

2010-06-20T17:34:00.002+08:00

I think could nearly become a full-time procrastinator ):
DAMN! Midyears are coming, yet i feel i havent dont anything at all.
all that i have studied seems to not pierce themselves together rawr.
study but doesnt get into head.
thus i dont feel likt studying anymore.
i hate studying when i dont understand what i'm studying -.-
hope tmr will be a muggerish day with SH at ccknl.
Sigh. shouldnt be using comp.. but...

2010-06-19T23:27:00.002+08:00

Today was a lost day..
stare at lit poetry package one until i -_- ''
iambic foot, amapestic foot, onamatopoeia blahblahblah !
):
i wish they had H1 bio?
even tho its nearly useless to have H1 bio, but i think i can do better in that subject,
compared to english lit *BANGS HEAD*
argh. no background. english not good somemore.
why did i have to "gei kiang" and take lit -.-

2010-06-17T03:26:00.003+08:00

Finished my 4th korean drama ((:
Spring waltz.. was searching for it last year,
but to no avail (damn youtube!)
Lucky got tudou. Heee!
Sigh. after watching the drama right,
its so heart wrenching.
I feel that none of us know how love is supposed to be.
really mannnnn ):
its so .. they were all so willing to sacrifice for their loved ones ):
KOREAN DRAMAS <3
used to watch taiwan idol dramas last time.
initially thought quite nice,
but they got draggy, no proper endings, repetitive, exaggerated..
its a nice switch to korean dramas,
firstly i love their language. its so gentle and smoothing (:
Next, their plots are very.. thoughtful i should say?
Love all their little details..
love the seriousness..
love the way they show that love can overcome the hardest hardships ..
its amazing, the way their portray love..
and it seems too far away sometimes..
i mean O.O
if that guy caused the death of my mum when i was a kid..
then he disappeared from my life..
and when i woke up from surgery i was an orphan..
all that O.O
then, 15 years later, we both have a new identity..
we meet and fall in love without knowing who each other really are..
than complications.. parents on both sides objecting....
and all the third wheels intervening ..
and all the hurt. the confusion. the lies. the truth.
bloody people that gossiped about you..
and separating.... so many times.
crying everyday...
vowing to forget yet being unable to..
forced in marriages..
going overseas ....
Oh myyyyyyyy ):
Gave me a lot to think about. fate.
they were like travelling from some small isolated island to austria to soeul and they can still find each other.. they changed names and identities somemore....
Gosh. (sigh) *thinks*
i should go to sleep right... its 3.40 am
slept at 5am ystd somemore!
Hmmmmmmmm.
Everytime i finish a cycle, i dont want it to end.
etc. studying for Os was a dread, but after Os, i wanted to study more.. go for more exams..
after watching dramas.. i cnt help it.. cnt move away from the storyline eeeeee.
must go out and study.
cant stay at home and think wrong thoughts anymore. Lol.
Anyone interested? (:

chal ja-yo <3

2010-06-17T01:54:00.003+08:00

I think i'm gonna be sick soon..
felt super weird today..
feeling cold yet warm and suffocated..
feeling thirsty yet when i drink i feel uncomfortable..
watching my korean drama at midnight, actually makes it load. thats one (:
but, it has also uncovered some feelings of mine....

ever since... then..
there has been so many.. choices..
i've been so uncertain... hesistating ..
fluctuations in my feelings..
easily touched, then as time past, i got swayed..
so many times, i lost count.
comparing the new ppl i met to ....
it feels weird..
at the start of the year i proudly proclaimed that..
my feelings had changed.....
but now i'm uncertain! whyohwhy ):
its a weird feeling, but i know its just this period of uncertainty..
i will be well one day..
sometimes i avoid them, yet sometimes, i feel that.. i shouldnt..
shouldnt run away from who is treating me that good...
*complicated*

2010-06-14T23:24:00.001+08:00

An-nyong-ha-se-yo!
Choh-a-hae-yo =X
Pogo shipta...
Chal ja-yo! ^^V

Hehehe.
Spamming basic korean phrases heehee (:
The korean language is SO BEAUTIFUL-yo!
anyone understands? HAHA!

2010-06-14T22:22:00.002+08:00

Really pissed off today cos my drama wouldnt load!
RRRRRRRrrrrrrrr!
Lol nvm. at least i got see my unit 2.2 econs notes in the meantime! Haha!
Very lame conversation with shin & zhengguang on msn/hp just now!
Haiyo! shin ah -.- not a good pranker lol.
he used zhengguang's msn to tell me "i'm thinking of you", sth along the lines of that.
FAIL! Haha. dead giveaway!
Even if he wanted to prank he could have been more subtle!
Typical shin -_-

My drama is still not loading ):
lazy study my econs 2.2 liao!
neck pain!
hate my pimples!
I want to drink honeydewiceblendedwithpearllllll ):

2010-06-14T15:26:00.001+08:00

OMG srsly i think i have seriously wrong judgement of people -.-
so retarded ohman!
Gotta grab hold of my shuhui one day and get it off my mind.
UGH!

2010-06-13T13:37:00.002+08:00

this weekened,
watched 2 korean dramas. Opps =X
"Oh! My lady" is super nice!
Its those kind of show you watch finish and you will be like
"oh shit. what should i do now? i want more~~~"
Hahahaha ((:
The other one is some traditional love story so i bet no one here will like.
It only has two long eps tho -_-
I want to watch "Oh! my lady" again lah! argh!
So nice ((:
The male and female leads are so good looking !
And the kids are like too cute only! Heeee! :D
"YeEun ah ! Kanchana?" ^^v
Lol. damn nice. go watch the full series at:
http://www.mysoju.com/oh-my-lady/

Okay actually not the whole series =x
the youtube vids got removed! ARGH!
I want to catch those eps that i have missed!
*furiously searching*

못봤죠 ..

2010-06-12T00:54:00.002+08:00

and tonight's gonna be a good night
oh tonight's gonna be a good night
and tonight's gonna be a good good night!

Like always (:
Sleeping equates to happiness ((:

today: SCO concert.
Met shu, hong and qian at cck, saw shiying also !
MRT to jurong to meet lisa at transition!
Proceeded to cityhall for subway!
Met billy there! He alrd bought his meal before we reach-.-
Lol billy goat :D
my first time eating subway! (suaku P:)
*10 thumbs up*
I want more more moreXD
I want more vege! And cold cut and white nut cookie LOVESSSSSS.
hahaha. went to spam sweets before going to SCH.
saw subway on the way there and we were like HAIZYOOOOO!
concert wasnt that impressive.
i mean, of cos they did play well, but i didnt really enjoy the pieces much!
I prefer our very own dynamics DONGGAN! Hahaha P:
Lazy to blog about the rest! Bleh.
Felt somehow awkward wearing a skirt today.
its like my first time in 10+ years wearing a non-school skirt,
so bravo for the first step taken ((:

saw huixin at SCH!
Wahlao! She got the best seat!
Grrrrrrrrrr. Lols.
My seat damn (N). its like straining my neck and back to even see lah.
(sigh)

and tonight's gonna be a good good night ((:
ciao!

zzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzz
zz
z
z
zzz-

2010-06-10T09:31:00.002+08:00

Ystd: a day of ups and downs.
Well, to begin with, i was dissapointed by someone who MIA early in the morning.
Next, the aircon in the audi spoilt or what, i felt so hot! (not in that context haha)
After math lecture, we went to nad 's house for "PW".
Lol. There was more of non-grp than grp members -.-
Shu, pris, zhoutian, desmond tagged along as well!
Lol. played wii for our project.
I dont really like wii. Lol. Anticipated too much i guess, so was horribly let down.
Must thank nad's mummy for the cheese fries, fried fish/corn sticks, sponge cake + orange juice!
*Yumyums* P: Esp the cheese fries lah omg. omgomgomg. i wanna go buy toooo! :D
In the end, liwei didnt turn up, so we couldnt do much for the proj, cos the soft copy is with her!
ugh! ):
Felt tired, draaaaaaaaaaaagy, etc.
shu cancelled her lunch date with a pri sch friend (oopps!) and we went bugis to shopshop.
Me and shu only lah! :D Weeeeeeeeeee!
Hmmm. managed to buy a ribbbbon lol thats love!
Got so many there!
So many colours!
I was tempted to buy more than one but i got self-restrain *proud*
Lol whatever! :D
Other shopping hauls included a belt (finally after me and shu tried SO hard to find 3 items in the shop so that its 3 for $10 hehe) and a skirt (yeah. peeps who know me all do know that i dont wear skirts! But i realised this year that i should have at least one so that can wear for concerts and stuff.
Shu bought stuff too!
Two necklaces and one WHITE (lol) blouse (:
Hahaha dont worry they DONT look the sameXD
Okaayyyyy. like totally stoned on the way home.
headache + sore throat (from fries??:/)
Went home, dinner. then my fav fruit :D
Then i fell conk dead asleep like a piggggy on tha sofa :/
Unglam!!!!
Sigh! Hate headaches :/

on ya, to end this post off on a more enthu mood.
Ytd at nad 's house, me and shu weighed ourselves.
The weighing machine must be spoilt im telling you!
Cos i gained 3 plus KG and shu gained 4 KG!
No accurate!!
HOW CAN I BE 44 KG HUHUHHHUHHHHH!?!?!

2010-06-08T10:40:00.001+08:00

I hate it when you all talk in circles to me whenever the conversation involves (someone). Its damn (N)(N)(N)(N)(N)! Grrrrrrrr.

2010-06-05T17:26:00.000+08:00

time.

2010-06-02T00:02:00.002+08:00

on the hunt for a 24/7 buddy.
not that my friends are not great! I love themmmm :*
only diff is that..
sometimes at midnight you wake up
cnt go back to slp again..
but cnt like random pick up phone and call someone right -_-
must find someone willing to do that, and myself willing to do it for them. haha.
i am too attracted but the non-existing world.
Everytime read book/watch movie..
The lead characters never fail to have...
* A BEST FRIEND they can like 101% rely on for 24/7
* A happy and supportive family
* A happily ever after.

*FROWNS AT LIST*
so bloody not possible for me la haha.
but still having this..
hanging on to this teeny eeny miney hope that
somewhere in the world
i am going to find a friend like that.
absolutely and truely BFF.
of course must have occasional squabbles. thats the test of friendship.
but just.. someone you can talk to about
everything under the sky.
talk to them about ppl they dont know of.
and listen to them talk about some alien talk and yet stay awake..
Hmmmm.
*hope*

recent "hot topic" of mine is ..
"Will we ever get married?"
Hahahahaha!
That time i asked shu this ques,
than her initial rxn was, she thought i was asking if she and i would ever marry.
LOL! cute! I likeeeeeeee likelikelike *presses fb button vigorously*
I do that sometimes leh. heh.
Pressing like, then unlike, just so that i can "like" it again. heee!
i have like always wondered.
how come like the majority of the world is married ah O.O
is it really that possible to find that one person
who loves you not bcos of your perfections,
but because of your inperfections?
and for you to feel the same for them?
Super hard!
Unless there is some like magnetic property of humans....

O.O
I slp too much liao.
head unclear.
hahahaha.
tmr CO prac.
ithinkgglah!
reallygg!
*stressedlikeabanana*

2010-05-30T17:04:00.001+08:00

imbloggingcausesomeonecomplain
thatmytagboardisbeingcovered
bythetouchingvideomuahaha
:D
tummyachenowgrrrr!
iwantpeachtea ):
iwantchickenhorfunatAJcanteen
iwanttoeattofuandtauhuey
hee =)
inarandomishmood
swingingbetweentheextremes
idunlikemytummyache>:(

2010-05-29T13:51:00.002+08:00

哭久了会累，只是别人的以为
Home, is not the place you live in
its the place you are understood.
But at the place i call "home"
i am never understood.
to be truthful..
home has just become a building of comfort to be.
the ever-familiar surroundings is what comforts me
my blankets that embrace me
the walls that talk to me
the people, have become the daggers that hurt me
over and over again.

so.
what am i staying on for?

the hope that will come to nothing.

2010-05-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

touching vid ):

2010-05-28T14:34:00.002+08:00

A lit tcher from AJ, but not mine, said sth along the lines of this:
"I know that holiday homework is a horrible oxymoron..."
Totally agree. i hate holiday hmwk!
It makes the holiday an un-holiday lah.
Plus projects. Lit Projs. GPP etc..
So far ppl ask me out, i all those days not free?
Why? Cos got prior agreement that i have some project on that day!
i really am amazed how come so many ppl like sch hols...
its like WORSE than normal sch day for me !!! ):
My "Bad mood" bcos of ______ *pokes claudia* is still here.
just feel like lying on the bed all day and crying..
i dont like it now..
i dont mind doing hmwk if i understand them.
but dont understand, how to do?
like shu said ystd, she is now demoralised, how to find back her morale?
I want to find mine back too..
Math. I really dun accept the fact that i m failing it.
i am in this. deceiving mode.
i pretend that this is only cos AJ (rumoured) has the hardest math papers in SG.
and that in the first place i havent adapt.
sometimes in lectures i feel i know everything..
then when i do the tut i dun get it ..
then sometimes in lectures i feel i dont know anything, like MI
but when i do then i realise, actually its very do-able!
I HATE LIT HMWK TTM!
ITS GONNA BE ONLINE SMORE!
WHOLE SCH LIT STUDENTS CAN SEE AND COMMENT ON MY WORK!
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! ):
AND LIT PROJ ALSO OMG!
THE ANALYSIS OF WSS.........
THE TEACHER DIN EVEN LIKE GO THRU THE BOOK WITH US AT ALL.
SHE JUST GAVE HER THE BOOK AND ASK US TO DO PROJ ABT IT STRAIGHT GRRRRR>:(

June holidays, before they came,
we talked about going out.
pri sch friends, sec sch, JC even.
now?
i doubt so we have the time.
the poem "time eating" suddenly seems damn (Y)(Y)(Y)

2010-05-27T22:35:00.002+08:00

You know what?
I love my smile in these 3 photos!
i seem so happy, but somehow, i dont feel so..

much of my life i have been like this, but why talk abt it now?

I am happy, mostly, when i'm with my friends.

favourite moments are always one-to-one,

so that (other than their hp) all their attention is on me..

i like it when ppl pay attention to me.

it makes me feel at the very least, significant, cared abt.

like although i like to hear ppl compliment me abt my looks,

those who please me the most tell me i've got pretty eyes..

cos that tells me they know me better (cos my eyes are so small....)

okay i gather by now i should have lost like half my readers hahaha=x

So many things in life have thought me..
things may not seem the way they are.
not everyone treats the world with truth.
in actual fact, how easy is it to not lie even once in a day?
when someone asks you, "are you okay?"
you reply yes when you're not; and that is a lie..
sometimes we live life in so many of our "little white lies" that we ourselves get confused about what is real and what isnt.
Then they result in larger, unintentional lies.
so why do ppl lie huh?
When asked "are you okay"
why do we reply yes when the answer is so damn obviously no?
pride? act macho? dont want ppl to worry?
but why do we lie?
whywhywhyohwhy?
its like sometimes u tell a story..
then the next time someone asks u about it, it feels like that story was indeed part of your past experience.....
hmmmmmm..
idunnnooooooooo.

who said friends and family, will always be there?

why is there this assumption?

there are so many times, my family, my friends, dont understand at all..

there are so many times i lean and lie down on my own arms

encourage myself

comfort myself

deceive myself.......

Today is the so called last day of sch.

but of cos will be back every week for tutorial, lecture, cca..

i dont feel happy like everyone does.

i feel lost.

i dont like this feeling.

i want to go to sch on monday, have my morning pe..

see everyone in sch

complain abt sch

run happily to canteen

ask, "what u want eat?" like a million times to shu & claude.

i want this to go on and on..

i dont want to..

i want to....

i dont know how to phrase my complicated thoughts.

GAHHHH.

in other words,

i'll miss youuuuuu all! in my sch hols ):

esp esp Claudeee!

Hugged her tday again omg.

its sad feeling ):

2010-05-26T20:49:00.000+08:00

Arghhhhhhhh!
tmr 3.2km resilience cross country...
and today that one came.
Irritated lor.
that time resilience training also like that >:(
In a SUPER TIRED AND EXPLOSIVE MOOD NOW GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ERNMOFD$RFFLKRHEDJDHGF###$$$$$$$$$Y&#$(#&R $B!!!

2010-05-23T20:25:00.002+08:00

If only you meant what you said to me..
if only it wasnt what u tell every other girl you meet..
i was just too foolish to believe you.
jerk.
days of ups and downs caused by guys like you arent worth it!

2010-05-23T15:44:00.003+08:00

u know how you do sth then dont know why u did it afterwards?
havent that feeling now!
why did i allow kwan hin & jayjay to chop my arm ah?
Now got three faded "excellent" chops thr!
like i kena abuse like that! Lol.
today kids run not so tiring lah.
much better than last last week (Y)
feeling bloated after lunch with amanda.
(Y)(Y)(Y)

2010-05-21T20:52:00.003+08:00

*Backtrack*..
when i was a kid i was uber uber uber 乖!
Cute kid, Big Eater, And loveddd (:
pri sch i started to become a spoilt kid, always wanting things to be my way.
also always cried whenever ppl bullied me (which they always did!)
sec sch, sec one is a great great turning point of my life..
the first time i started to think that guys are not so bad.
the first time i started to think that i would eventually get married haha
(i used to want to stay single all my life =x)
the first time i actually shouted at, and got violent with those guys who tried to bully me!
Lol. I still rmb standing outside the boys toilet and screaming at terence haha!
and all those times that made me more defensive of myself (:
then sec two..... sec three.. sec four.... matured in some terms..
but still a little foolish in some ways..
Now i'm in JC..
new perspectives to things & people.
Started to become.....
more playful. more noisy. more quiet. more thoughtful....
there are so many times i keep quiet nowadays..
not because i have nth to say..
but i am afraid..
afraid i would say the wrong things..
i dont want history to repeat itself, for the precious person i have lost from my life..
trying to manage my feelings..
like when i feel upset, i try not to show it anymore...
its hard.. really.. but at least i try.....
and crying. i used to cry when ppl bully me..
now i cry when i tell ppl abt my life..
i am more abt to share abt my life now cos sometimes i find ppl who understand it..
like last time, my friends...
shu, xy, carmen, they were all happy at home..
somehow if i told them they wouldnt understand..
like sometimes i try to tell shu and she doesnt get it,
doesnt get how i feel.. i dont blame her tho.. she's lucky..
but in AJ then i found ppl who could understand..
like so far i told claude *MUAHHHH* and phy abt some family stuff..
even cried in front of claude O.O
but..
somehow..
saying all these stuff out..
i feel......
better..
even tho i cry..
i get terribly upset..
but somehow, at that precious moment..
i feel that someone is there for me..
listening..understanding..and its a great feeling..
one of the best....

so far i have found that phy, claud are ppl that i can really totally relate to..
(and more but i cant say, least rumours agn -.-)
and i have shared with them my most deepest feelings..
and they understood, so i treasure tht.
sometimes i know, i distance myself from some people..
bcos.. idk why.. but ever since sth happened in sec sch..
i have learnt to .. keep a dist from ppl i still dont completely know..
i dun know why....
but after some time, i really get to trust you..
feeling totally comfortable with shu now.
able to trust her apart from jokes played on each other sometimes!
Like today.. i thought she wan give me sweet.. then... ):
*drawwwwcircle*
Hahaha.
In other wordssssss~ILOVEYOU (Y)
i love you all.
all who have been in my life!
i am sure i dun need to list out, cos you know who you are right!
:D

Sidetrack a lil..
some feelings of mine have been sorted out recently.......
heheh.. still a lil bit uncertain, my decision is still wavering ..
but at least, i know ....

sidetracking again.. gosh d:
有帅哥，也有可爱型的男生。。。
不过。。。说你帅/可爱并不代表一个女生喜欢你！
喜欢一个人绝对不是用一个人的外表来衡量的，
也不是对你说的话多不多。。。
So cheer up! :D
you'ld never know, maybe she likes you as well!
She is just shy luh!
If you never ask, you'll never know!
I did it before, so can you!
Jiayou!

2010-05-18T23:46:00.001+08:00

Life is meant to be unfair
to put as all thru this @!#$%^&*(*!
There are so many thing i dun understand argh!
why why whyyyyy! ):
its like. a situation.
suddenly seems so eventful, so pleasant, sweet feelings..
then suddenly when you expect more to come,
EVERYTHING CHANGES ):
rawrrrr ):
I am sad.....

today Mr P's bday mini gathering....
*speechless*
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
come back feeling thoughtful.
Hah? Dun get myself either!
I want to eat TAU HUEYYYYY!

2010-05-15T13:37:00.001+08:00

I have changed a lot,
so please dont expect things to be the same anymore~

2010-05-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

A quick brief update on my life now..
past weekend was poof gone due to my volunteer take-up..
yeap. its cool! :)
CIP hours, plus cash incentives, provided meals, goodie bags..
HAHA. no la.
the actual thing is fun too (:
i am Run, Jump, Throw Crew!
First day i was assigned to run&throw stations to teach the kids play (:
damn cute kids!
Got one damn cute keep smiling at me, loved that little boy! :D
got on super smart also..
cos i only got one ball..
then got around 4 boys keep saying "give me.. give me.."
then he hugged me and said "jiejie......." then sit on my lap hahaha..
i melted. sry other kiddies X)
first and tiring day...
second day damn sian..
in charge of entrance cnt play with kids liao.........
deal with parents instead wth -.-
some seriously got attitude prob
one case study for you all..
one mummy said this
"you mean i have to pay $25 for this ugly shirt then my kids can get into this pathetic playground? I want to see your supervisor......"
WTH! pathetic then why u want go in in the first place?
then got one mum SO SMAAART.
her kid whinning, keep want go in, but she dun wan let him cos not free
so the kid was like starting to fa pi qi at her, so she said
"You see, this jie jie dont want to let you in"
then the kid stare at me. wth !
Grrrrrrrrrr.
angry day. Lols.
nvm.
my skin all peel due to staying in aircon rm for like 20 plus hours...
my knees sore from squatting on day one, and standing thruout day 2..
ouch >:(
mon go back sch. Lala (:
I love sch minus PW hee!:D
today math OP.
i dont think i did a very good job!
but mrs ong said its very good!
and desmond also said i did well.
and claude! even tho she dun understand some parts.
and nad said i was cute. haha!
So i am quite happy & high today!
Maybe cos peach tea, idk (:
heeheehee!
I said to zheyu, "I got a siewmai, yeahhhhh"
then he like think i mad..
arent i?
lol !
Tmr got GP! i havent do gippytimes! =x
nvm lah tmr chiong opps =x
tmr got CO! hope it will be productive session?
Lala.
if only sch got more econs lecture, more chi tutorial,
no PW, i will really love it :)
and more PE and stuffs! OH YEAH !

NIGHTS.
ME EYES CLOSING ALRD OMG
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHER TO BLOG HAHA!
LOVES

2010-05-06T18:40:00.002+08:00

Just came back from pe but cant bathe yet cos my papa is bathing..
oh wells. alternative is comp!
i decided to slack for the rest of today!
Finally no PI!
it was like, thurs do pi, fri do pi, sat do pi, sun do pi, mon do pi. tues do pi, ystd do pi.....
FINALLY ITS OVER (:
Up next is tough work but AT LEAST PI IS OVER WOOT! :D
Happyhappy :)
I desperately need to buy some bottoms..

2010-05-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

Finished pi like finally ~
tmr hand in liao~
should stop thinking abt it =)
Today was a weird day.. sth weird is going on :O
CO prac was also.. weird.. haha.
Even tho we got 2 sheng to share instead of one..
somehow the mood isnt right.
I just keep playing Prince of eygpt countless times.. haha.
then got next year's syf piece..
can die..
need press 9 keys at the same time!
i only got 10 fingers lei how ):
waiting for ppl to fan pu for me =x
me dumb cant read the score..
i want C diao number number line line! heh. i'm troublesome..
today CO slacker then usual?
Hmm..
need go dazu this week onwards..
prac for syf liao :O
no more seniors.. so its up to us J1s...
scary thoughts argh!
goodnight!

ppl always say i look innocent..
but after they get to know me....heheheh! =x
i am getting more n more playful!
Teasing ppl hahaha..
like today nad complaining abt her syf thing..
i suddenly randomly said yayigotbread:)
then she totally ..... haha.. loved her response which cant be put in words..
tmr is thurs..
but i dont have backstage prac..
feels feel weird...
i miss those days i complain abt it haha

2010-05-04T23:37:00.002+08:00

Life is full of surprises (:
Okay i admit i was truely surprised to hear about ____ (shhhhh)
HAPPY SURPRISES, BUT CONFUSING AT THE SAME TIME ARGH!
nvm lets change topic.
Just touch up on my PI draft AGAIN.
hope got time let mrs ong see it tmr......
too much of my time, energy, effort spent on PW alrd.
My dear beloved other subjects~
Basically math, phy, and chi!
Not much time to touch them other then other then hmwk.
feeling tired in lectures and tutorials too!
Wanna start trying to drink coffee.. Lol :x
at night dun wan slp, in jiu sleepy. i think i nice :O
some people tell me i told vulnerable, they feel protective of me.
Some people tell me i look vulnerable, fun to bully!
See how much difference those ppl perspectives are!
Dun bully me kayy! I fierce de shi hou you all die >:)
Who got see me fierce before? Xinying. ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.

2010-05-04T22:12:00.001+08:00

AJ is really mugger sch.
I aspire to be like my schoolmates!
Classmates esp! Omgomgomg!
Me, shu and claude are the slackers in class!
Must learn to mug like them.
mug whole day they also can tahan de! :O
Mugmugmug!
The rumours about AJ being mugger sch is real. Lol!
Bye.
I go and mug my pi.
LOLS :D

2010-05-03T22:19:00.002+08:00

I just realised sth major.
on facebook me wanqian wenhong were saying
how co concert felt like graduation..
we very sad and all that.
Then shuhui dont feel likewise.
i only JUST get the whole picture..
wh & wq is cos they went back sch after concert, they know abt the J2s passing on to us alrd.
me & shu didnt know YET !
we didnt know J2s "graduate"le!
So what i have been feeling over the weekends was purely by instincts!
I keep feeling i wont see co seniors again or what..
then shu still keep saying, dun worry got a lot more CO prac ahead.
Then just now suddenly receive eugene's sms
and i was stunned
lost
omg so fast!
NOOOOOOOOoooooooo
why so fast !
eugene and peiyi go le, idk i will how!
die? oh no ):
why goodbye come so fast..
we dont even know each other really well yet and i was planning to spend more time to get to know the two of them better!
now its too late argh!
NOooooooooooo ):
we havent mastered the sheng yet they cant go ):
feeling really lost now, like lost sheep.
We havent even prac next year syf song yet...
how to progress?
till now, i cant do TU YIN! ):

i feel like crying
i feel even more stressed up.....
whats going on why now !
Esp when may is my most hectic month !
):

goodluck seniors for your A lvls!
Mugger sch got mugger students, so i wont ask u all to mug hard :p
Jiayou! all the best! rmb to come back visit us if free..
we need your guidance stillllllll!!
JIAYOU JIAYOU !:D

2010-05-02T00:33:00.002+08:00

Today CO concert.
i am backstage crew.
fun. stress. tiring.
nice food thanks food i/c eugene.
whoonhoon very stress cos 2 ppl never go.
the concert = success!
POE damn nice.
esp the GS solo, make me want to cry.
my feet hurt now. stupid shoes.
i am tired as can be seen.
tmr still got project at woodlands.
hmmhmm.
goodnight.
i had a good-bad day today.
depends on how you see it..
thanks shu's ddy for fetching me home!
thanks claude for your shirt my mum loves it too!
thanks billy for being a good partner!

no matter how fast you look away,
there's ALWAYS this moment of eye contact!

2010-04-30T19:26:00.002+08:00

I dun understand why ppl say i look innocent..
then today a bit pissed at zt cos she talked crap!
she say i look innocent, but after she saw me teasing claude so many times,
she thinks i'm not.
and she thinks i ACT blur -.-
blur and innocent 2 separate things kayy! -.- -.- -.-
oh ya anw claude and me hugged today :O
shu jealous till her face turn green.ohmo :O
tmr is the BIG DAY!!!
:p

2010-04-25T17:34:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging less frequently nowadays..
i keep typing one whole chunk of words that backspacing them away... hmm..
May is going to be REALLY REALLY HYPED UP BUSY.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Still coughing ):
There's blood in my spit. Yucks !
Kayy, gonna go bathe, my neck in aching from typing the PI.
Lol. i'm making no sense. Blah. Love you all ! :D
P/s i hope CO backstage will be a success!
I may not be performing, but i know Eugene + Peiyi will do their best for GYS!
Jiayou seniors :D
and jiayou to all other CO pepo too (:
Esp wanqian & sockyie ! :D
jyjy !
And hope i get assigned to RJS for the cold storage expo day !
As for the race day, hopefully i can be serving food/drinks!
Hahahaha >:)
JC life is really hectic..
but we'll......
go like champions, go go
fight like champions, fight fight
go like champions, fight like champions
ALL THE REST CAN GO FLY KITE!
fly kite fly kite~ all the rest can go fly kite!
I feel like a evil pantherian today. heehee!
and also..
MetametametametameTALLOOOOOOOO
yayayayayayaya !
I miss Metallo! :(
The highest OGLs and the best cheers! :D

to ykw:

you never know when you meet "the one" for you

it could be after you got a girlf, after you get married

and suddenly when this one person appears,

you get disorientated, confused, thrown off track

but i love my girlf, you think to yourself

i'm a loyal man, commited to this rls

so you ignore your feelings

you ignore HER feelings, and you tell her plainly to get out of your life?

is this fair to her, fair to yourself?

is it even fair to anyone?

dont regret your decision after its too late!

I give advice to you because i think you're being way too hard on yourself over this!

In love there is no right and wrong!

follow your heart!

I will be there for you if you want me to be.

this is all the advice i can give you.

what you feel for one person,

it could be a misjudgement, maybe they're just your ultra good friends you love!

it could be an illusion, it could be anything.

But when you realise its going wrong, back out early, dont hurt the other party so much.

Jiayou my friend!

You can make mature decisions for yourself!

Loveya :D

2010-04-22T22:33:00.002+08:00

Oh today is a tiring day..
cough non-stop, actually din want to go for PE but went anyway :D
Miracles do happen, din cough much during PE but started coughing agn after PE ..
SAD THING HAPPENED~
everyone going HOME tgt !
They said byebye to me cos i needa stay back in sch.
Siannnnn ):
CO backstage rehearsal......
dot.....
released only at 8 >:(
I am in the percussion section omg !
Percusion section should be all guys lah ! ):
damn tired, cant force myself to do hmwk !
waiting for hair to dry then go sleep le !
headache now!

sth happened today.

same circumstances as a year ago.

even the weather was the same.

Even the words exchanged were the same.

Only difference is the person it occured with.

and that this time, i didnt cry, but i did last year which was the first time i cried out of happiness.. haha.

But today, when it happened again,

it just reminded me of the past feelings..

a reminder to show that i am still trapped in some past memories..

This repeat of history is like worse..

Given hope; let down; given renewed hope...

please dont be so indirect kayy..

i am not so smart..

say what you mean, be right to the point..

2010-04-17T15:26:00.002+08:00

I like it when you care about me, but i dont like that i cant return it.
idk why but your status is just preventing me from doing so.
in short. sth happened in sch ystd while i was alone.
Or rather, i saw sth happen.
and for some stupid reason i got upset.
upset at what -.- i have no right to be upset over what i saw.
its not fair that this kind of things always happen to the same person!
feeling unjust unjust unjust >:(
and as expected i have got flu AGAIN!
Every saturday, its quick becoming a routine !
Limitations that i face now.
Dreams and hopes cut-off midair.
Dont like this ):
AND AJ IS REALLY SUPER MUGGER SCH -.-
Starting of sch i thought still okay, some muggers.
then that time recess go canteen, nobody there ..
everyone studying !
reading room! library! random tables around sch all occupied omg ):
Everyone go muggerish.
Ahhh! All the more should we push ourselves !
Had the 'push' in AJ library that day.
but i saw sth that brought it down down down.
Next time sit library 3rd floor must stay away from the glass windows alrd lah ):
I feel like a stupid stupid fool in AJ !
So stupid !
Stupid in math - FAILED test!
Stupid in phy - FAILED again.
Stupid in econ - Price elastic .................................. -huh?-
Stupid in lit - "hey do you know what this word means?"x99999999999999
Stupid in GP - "Huh what happened?"
Stupid in PW - First thing that ever made me so stressssssssssssssssssssssed.
Stupid in everything !
Stupid in CO - "Huh i only understand the C diao"
Stupid in PE - THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS DURING PE!
Stupid stupid stupid to let history repeat itself....
I shouldnt think abt it anymore ~
Shut away from the world.

2010-04-11T10:47:00.001+08:00

AAAhhhh i think i am near madness alrd ):

2010-04-09T23:53:00.002+08:00

TSH is having major mood swings now!
tyty to pw lah.
have been thinking of how to do for so long ):
and still like a gong only ):
Mood swings tday and ystd.
Felt like cursing and screaming, then suddenly keep laughing, then start crying and all that.
Dont know whats wrong lah ):
today in sch during mr ho's 2hr phy.
I wasnt even paying attention lah.
Like sitting there half asleep and hearing funny conversation topics from shin & zheng guang.
Guys talk on a very diff channel from us is all that i can say. ugh :/
then rest of the day just zoom past?
like so fast today is gone.
Oh my.
I wanna sleep liao.
Blog soon (:
oh ya btw my sch is hosting southkorea ppl for the yog thgy.
so now every morning will play Kpop (:
In canteen also got play MVs !
Everytime got snsd the guys like stare hooked at the TV -.-
Nobody also -.-
..
THE TAU HUEY IS NICEEEEEEEE (:
STRAWBERRY YOGHURT TOO !
BACON SNACKS TOO !
VEGETARIAN STALL TOO!
CHICKEN ZEST TOO !
I LOVEE FOOOOOD (:

very pekcek her.
玩弄别人的感情, she think nice!

2010-04-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to minying ! (29/03)
Happy birthday to carmen ! (30/03)
Happy birthday to zhiying ! (31/03)
Happy birthday to Nadhilla ! (01/04)
Happy birthday to Wenhong ! (01/04)

So cool right? Haha.
Poetry writing wkshop today caused me and claudia to miss afternoon pe.
Omg Mr Lim KW scolded us for sth not our fault ! -.-
Until we both almost cried. (FELT SUPER YUAN WANG!!!!!!!)
shant talk about it.
shant try to think about next week's make up PE either ):
Gahhh.
This week is soooooooo :/
Mon - graffiti rocked TTVVVVVVVVM
Tues - resilience training rocked TTM too :)
Wed - Back to lessons (eeeeeeeeee..) + fun CO prac
Thurs - Kena scolded for no reason + no reccess ):
It began so well but ended on a bad note i guess..

next week...
-3 PE sessions.. (morning, afternoon + afternoon make up)
-I&E day
-50cent Bacons snacks!

Omg. me and claudia ate that before going to the poetry writing workshop.
Damn nice and super worth the price (:
Oh well, everything in the AJ canteen tastes nice what, not meh?
cant blame me, my sch got nice food :P

2010-03-30T23:03:00.002+08:00

RT today was madddd awesome.
For me lah. altho some parts are sian..
i feel that this the first "camp" that i feel like i learnt anythg..
(thanks to the facilitator? lol..)
Anw, cnt thank 19/10 group one enough!
Esp esp xiao cong who helped me so much during the rock wall climbing..
and also minian who was my primary belayer for both rounds..
he didnt complain ):
hope his hands dont hurt cos i keep falling down.. omg.
cfm darn painful ):
*guilt*
plus i was the only one from 19/10 grp 1 to try rock wall climbing.
Omg sorry ppl ):

2010-03-29T18:53:00.003+08:00

Today is no lessons day number one!
FOL ! :D
akash, desmond, claudia, shu and sok signed up for Graffiti Mural Painting (:
Like cool only ! =)
Since 25 ppl signed up and we're 5 ppl,
by right we should take up 1/5 of the 2 walls right..
ended up taking up much more than our due.
Haha, but our work is nice :D
lazy upload.
check FB for photos ya (:
After FOL, took photos. The guys zi lian.
.........
.......
...................
Lol! So funny.
Then cloudy went off to find her noel -_-
me, shu, akash, desmond ate lemon chicken rice (:
then akash stayed in sch for track while the 3 of us left.
Desmond usually takes bus home, but he wanted to pei us, so he went by mrt.
so nice of him. haha.
That led to us bringing him to Lot one.
Omg cos he lives at punggol leh ):
i felt like we bullying him..
hope you had a nice time with us anw..
chat about some topic i dont really feel like chatting about..
about that person i was once close with..
then a bit emo but it passed..
went to choose her present..
then the shop played the song "when we hold on tgt"
almost teared. miss ws ):
then met xy & herman @ cck library.
Chat. use comp. haha.
And now i'm home dude ^^
tmr got RT!
High and low elementzzzzzzzz.
Hope i can overcome my fear of heighttttts tmr !

i am still in a state of confusion.
GAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2010-03-28T10:28:00.002+08:00

Just realised sth.
On tues right, gonna report for RT in my mum's track pants and my mum's track shoes.
at first glance AJ uniform and pe both sucked.
but now suddenly like both liao, esp pe. Haha.

I want to go shu's hse for sb!
I want to go claudia's hse to play with her dogs, lette & her sis are so cute ^^
I want to use the comp more to watch my shows
I want to go out with ppl everyday !
I dont want to read TIME magazine but need to read lah -.-
I dont want to do homework but i have to -.-

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!1 >:(

2010-03-26T23:35:00.002+08:00

today test out phy challenge.
realised that some things really depend on luck.
Lol. lazy elaborate.
after lessons ended when to canteen to collect our pre-ordered packet lunches.
i finished mine before desmond finished his and somehow he was shocked. Haha.
Shared mango madness with my shoe =)
then yaojia omgzxxz she told me things that i didnt want to hear.
suddenly the mango madness not too nice liao,
but still nice. wth i talking.. lol.
Sigh. track n field !
the guys got no space to sit ):
me and claudia offer them our seat they dont want :/
blah. oh then my shoe really cmi liao.
the whole base was almost dropping off -_-
then xiaocong was ..
then he go put his straw wrapper there.
...........................................................................
so bad. ahhh.
then heng at home my mum got spare pair of sports shoes lor.
heng she bought an oversized pair cos my leg bigger than hers.
so fits me just nice (:
and the colour is not nice..
but it match AJ uni. blue and grey -_-
Lol. nvm. wait till some addidas warehouse comes! :D
kayy.
Lit field trip tmr.
Hope with all my might i'm with claudia !
*twist*

Nadhilla say/do sth > shuhui laugh > sokhui laugh > claudia laugh
Lol!

2010-03-25T22:03:00.002+08:00

面对的只是你多变的表情，你的忽冷忽热 :/

haiyaaaa. how come everyone in AJ speak eng de.
Wanna find some chi speaking ppl liao. I want to speak in chinese ! ):
its like some sort of communication barrier lor.
i feel less comfortable speaking eng :/
nvm. hang out with claudia more. she is very englishy, hope i can get infected :D

everyday is mad busy & tiring.
tmr aft sch tracknfield meet,
sat literature excursion..
sun (finally !!!)
mon - FOL !
tues -RP !
oh i want my sleep ~
sleeping 5 hours a day is like crap.

2010-03-22T20:42:00.002+08:00

Happy 17th birthday to ANG SHU HUI ! (:
hope these 2 days of surprise celebration were enjoyable for you!
I felt so excited the whole weekend while waiting to see your reaction on both days. haha. esp today 19/10 de.
Hope you like the two cakes (lol) and presents you received yeah..
And must cont to be so SIAO okayhs ! :D
Love you to bits (:
I know you love me too! yay !!!
Hahaha. best crapper in the world.
Love youuuuuuuu :D